Time Out for Humor

The Judge and the Teacher...

In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.

She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.

A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. 'You are a school teacher, eh?' said he.

'Madam, today, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write "I went through a red light" five hundred times.'

Jacquie's note: It must have been an old judge. I don't think teachers have used that "write something 500 times" for a VERY long time.

Same Thing You're Doing

Henry's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Festus came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, they were required to sleep together.

When Uncle Festus came into the bedroom, he saw Henry kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed.

Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.

Henry looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied Uncle Festus.

"Ma's gonna be mad", said Henry, "The pot's on this side."

Cleaning Chickens

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.

"It ain't my fault, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is 'cause Daddy sleeps naked!"

Miss Crabtree, who had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years, ignored her trepidation and asked little Sammy what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown coyote. The last few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. And last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, 'That coyote's back again. I'm a gonna git him!'"

"Stay back!" he yelled to all us kids. He was naked as a jaybird; no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel through the window of the coop As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come a sneakin' up behind Daddy. Then we all looked on plumb helpless as old Zeke stuck his cold nose up Daddy's butt!"

"Miss Crabtree, we been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this morning.