The Teacher's Desk
 
 

Time Out for Humor

animated image of a singing ballerina

You will find nothing academic or informative on this page, but I think you'll enjoy it. I have fun trying to decide which anecdotes and jokes to share each month, and it's the one and only spot where I'm NEVER short of material. I would invite you to send me your favorite kid stories, but I'm afraid I might never find the space to publish your submissions. So...I guess this link belongs to me.

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Time Out

Jeff Foxworthy on Teachers...

  1. You're probably a teacher if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

  2. You're probably a teacher if you want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work from 8 to 3:30 and have summers off."

  3. You're probably a teacher if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

  4. You're probably a teacher if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going to rain, snow, hail...anything!!! without ever looking outside.

  5. You're probably a teacher if you believe, "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card.

  6. You're probably a teacher if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

  7. You're probably a teacher if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

  8. You're probably a teacher if you have no social life between August and June.

  9. You're probably a teacher if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

  10. You're probably a teacher if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

  11. You're probably a teacher if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".

  12. You're probably a teacher if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decide to move out of district.

  13. You're probably a teacher if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

  14. You're probably a teacher if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students' chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

  15. You're probably a teacher if meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

  16. You're probably a teacher if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

  17. You're probably a teacher if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!

  18. You're probably a teacher if the words "I have a college debt for this?" has ever come out of your mouth.

  19. You're probably a teacher if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!

And finally — Jacquie McTaggart on Teachers...

You're probably a teacher if you chuckled while reading Foxworthy's entries, but you know deep down that the classroom is where you're meant to be.


Kids' Respond to the question, "What does love mean?"

 

Clip art licensed from the Clip art Gallery on DiscoverySchool.com